Here is how my day went. This morning I stopped by a hospital were Bob, a 93 year old, was dying. Later, in the afternoon, I got a call to come back to the hospital because it appeared that he was close to the end. So I went back, met with the family members who had been there, keeping watch, and about two hours later, Bod died. During the wait, I read scripture, prayed, and was present. When Bob died, I read another scripture, and said a prayer of commendation to the Lord, of the deceased. Then I stayed awhile with Bob’s son as he took in his father’s death.
Then, I went back to the church, met with a couple to plan the memorial service for the woman’s brother.
Immediately after that, I gave the blessing prayer for the Wednesday night church supper. After supper I led the younger youth in a game of “Mother, may I?” followed by music, and a lesson on Psalm 23. In between, I worked hard on the bible study I will lead tomorrow on Exodus. That was my day.
Two days before this day, I attended a clergy seminar focused on “leadership.”
I want to be a good leader. I know I have a lot to learn. I know I have failings. I never knew, before this weekend, that if my “to do” list did not have a date for each “to do” then it was killing me.
I have never been able to put a date beside a “to do” such as “be there when Bob dies.”
I want to be an effective leader. I don’t think I know much about that. I feel badly that I could be a much better leader than I am. I did not take any courses in management or business, and I have read a few, but only a few books on the subject since then.
Here is my question: how much of what I do falls under the rubric of “leadership”? Some, for sure. But how much? Is it even 50%? I don’t know. I doubt it.
At the pastor’s leadership seminar, we talked some about having a vision. What is my vision for my congregation? I think there is fertile ground here. I want to have a congregation with a sense of shared vision. That seems like a good idea.
But how does it fit into a vision statement to say: “I want to be a pastor to people who are dying and to their families.”? This is part of my vision. And so is this: “I want to help develop the faith of 10 year olds, beginning with the game “Mother, may I?”.
Here is what my day will be like tomorrow: First is prayer group: a gathering of 3 ladies and me who pray for the world, the church, and people in need. Then, there is bible study. About 40 people will gather expecting solid bible study from me. In the afternoon, praise team practice. I will lead the musicians in rehearsal of the songs we will play in the contemporary worship service this Sunday.
Then I will drive 50 miles to visit Wes in the hospital, recovering from a head injury after a parking lot fall. Wes is 93 years old; part of our Winter Family from Indiana.
So, I attended a seminar on leadership. And I want to be a good leader.
And that aspect of my life and ministry seems rather narrow at the moment. Important, but narrow.
I’m struggling with this.